Everything I Never Wanted
by vermillion89
Summary: She lifts a weight from his heart that has been crushing down on him from years, and his friends are thankful, but what if she just becaomes another wieght... would it be to much for him to handle?... R&R Thanxx! Story will be better than summary!
1. Chapter 1 The End or Beginning

Authors Notes: I do not own FF8 && on that note! This is my first fanfiction story in a year and only the second one I have ever wrote... SO I'm open to suggestions! I hope whoever reads this enjoys and if not like I said I'm open to suggestions! Thanxx :)

I can't escape.

Her face plays upon my mind.

Hell maybe its my heart.

Her beautiful face.

Raven hair dancing so gracefully in the night wind.

And innocent chocolate eyes.

Eyes that have seen so much and are still naive, sweet, caring and open.

And a smile that stopped my heart.

All I know is.

Her face is with me always.

Its all I see.

Squall Leonhart... A loner, and for sure nobody to try to get close to, for all those who have... Have done so in vain. It is not as if he is a bad person... No, but life does things to you sometimes, and it seems like the only way to get through it without being completely destroyed is to shut down, build a wall and guard yourself with everything you have inside of you... No matter how much it hurts or how lonesome it may be.

(BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!)

N/A: Growling in frustration at the shrieking sound that woke him from his deep dark solitude and reminded him that he sooner or later must join the world of the living... A thought that did not put a smile on his face... Not that much did anyways. Squall rose quickly causing him to be light headed leaning forward with his hand to his head he cursed at himself he should have known better he stayed up almost til dawn sitting alone in the dark drinking... Something he does quit often. Squall pushed through the throbbing skull and the head rush and dizzily made his way to the his bathroom in hopes that a steaming hot shower would somewhat help pull him out of this hung over daze.

* * *

><p><p>

(Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!)

Squall: (frustrated at the over usage of his doorbell) I'M COMING!

Zell: (chipper) Heya Squall!

Squall: What do you want?

Zell: Gaw... Good to see you too!

Squall: Zell... What!

Zell: Well I just came by to tell you that my sister is looking for you and she's on the war path man... I'm sorry.

Squall: Great.

Zell: Squall I know she's controlling and obsessive, but Quistis is my sister and you hurt her bad, you know.

Squall: (sigh) I know. And I'm sorry I hurt her, but I explained from the beginning what we were, and she just kept pushing for more all the time, and I can't give her what she's looking for.

Zell: Yeah, I know. I told her to stop being so pushy, but that is just who she is... She's always got to be in control... Always has.

Squall: I'm sorry Zell... I'm sorry I hurt your sister, but I can't be what she wants... I will never be able to be.

Zell: (sigh) Squall I know you didn't mean for this to happen and I know your reasons why you feel this way... And that's why I thought you and Quistis would be so perfect together, because she knows too. And that's why I thought she would give you the time you needed and even understand if you could never come around. But I guess I was wrong... I'm sorry man... I'm sorry my sister is so crazy.

Squall: She's not crazy... It's normal for her to want more... I mean we dated long enough that it was time to more forward in the relationship, and she only wanted what was to be expected.

Zell: Well I just thought I would let you know that she's angry, and she plans on coming by here today and giving you a piece of her mind, and so you might want to make yourself scarce.

Squall: No... Its ok. I deserve whatever she has to say to me... Especially after the way I broke up with her.

Zell: (chuckle) Yeah. That was pretty harsh Squall.

Squall: Yeah.

Zell: Well I got to get to work... See you later... That is if my sister doesn't kill you first.

Squall: Yeah. Bye.

Zell: Bye.

* * *

><p><p>

N/A: Squall decided upon that note to leave the house and put off his inevitable scorning which he was nun to trilled about, and so he headed to his usual coffee shop, but just as he was about to cross the street he saw Quistis enter and with a very unhappy look plastered across her stern face. In a panic he on heel turned and headed away from the direction of the angry woman. Still desperate for coffee he went on a mission for the closet coffee shop in the city, and since he was such a workaholic and had a very specific routine that included that one lone coffee shop he had no idea where to find another one. He aimlessly wondered around for about an hour before deciding to give up his search and head home or maybe Quistis would no longer be at the coffee shop, but something in his gut told him that she wasn't going in there for coffee but really to have a confrontation with him when he finally showed his face. It was then that he saw a little brown headed girl with more energy than one person should have buzz by him with a cup of coffee in her hand humming to herself a mile a minute. And against his better judgment and and his usual character he reached out and grabbed her petite arm only to hear the most shrill scream he's ever heard followed by the coffee that he had one been craving slammed against his head, he was about to well out in pre anticipated pain only to realize that it was an ice coffee and that there was no point in doing so. He let go of the small woman but to his surprise she did not run away but instead she began hitting him, and so he backed away with his hands in the air as if to say I come in peace. Selphie stopped as she realized he had no intentions on attacking her... She put her tiny fist on her bony hips and giggled.

Selphie: (laughing at her own embarrassment) So you don't want my money or my body?

Squall: (frustrated at the frozen sticky beverage on his shaggy hair) Uh... No.

Selphie: Then why with the grabbing! you scared the life outta me!

Squall: Sorry. Directions to coffee.

Selphie: OOH! I see! Well all you do is go down...

Squall: Its ok.

Selphie: What? Why not?

Squall: Not in the mood now.

Selphie: Oh I see. TeHe. I'm so sorry.

Squall: Me too.

Selphie: I'm staying at this hotel right across the street with my best friend... You can come up and get yourself cleaned up if you would like... I mean its the least I could do for throwing my drink at you head.

Squall: No... Better go.

Selphie: You sure?

Squall: Yeah. Thanks.

Selphie: Ok then... Bye. I'm Selphie by the way.

Squall: Squall.

Selphie: Its been nice and interesting to meet you Squall.

Squall: Yeah.

Selphie: Well goodbye then...

Squall: Bye.

N/A: Squall walked away wet, sticky, freezing cold and frustrated at himself for being spontaneous enough to interact with some random girl and for his love of coffee and at the girl for hurling it at his head. He sighed and walked as fast as he could to his house only to see a very angry Quistis sitting on his front steps. He sighed and walked up to her not in the mood to do whatever it was that was going to unfold between them at the moment. Quistis gave the usually tidy clean Squall a looked and seemed pleased to find him so out of sorts.

Quistis: (sarcastically) What happened to you? You look like hell.

Squall: (getting even more frustrated) Thanks. You too.

Quistis: Thank. My boy friend of a year and a half broke up with me at a beautiful restaurant he took me to for my birthday when I was hoping that it was to ask me to marry him, but I guess it was just to let me down in style.

Squall: I'm not in the mood.

Quistis: Oh Squalls not in the mood to talk about feelings... Now there's a surprise. Well guess what I am in the mood! I deserve more than a nice meal, sorry I can't do this anymore, Happy Birthday Quistis. You owe me Squall... I was patient with you for a year and a half hoping you would come around, but you never did and what do I get for it? A broken heart... That's what. Do you know how that feels Squall? No. No you don't, and you know why... because you would have to have a heart Squall, and clearly you don't.

Squall: (angry) Quistis don't.

Quistis: Or what Squall... You going to scoff at me and say "whatever"?

Squall: Shut up Quistis! Just shut up ok! You never were patient with me... You have been pushing me to move faster and faster in this relationship everyday we have been together when from the very start I told you I didn't have it in me and if we were going to be together it didn't mean anything serious and knowing me you should know I meant it... And I have gone along with everything you wanted! When you wanted to go from just having our one night stands and go on dates I said ok, when you wanted to go from dates to dating I said ok, when you wanted to meet each others families I said ok, and even when you wanted that stupid key to my heart necklace I said ok! But you wouldn't let this marriage thing go... No matter how much I told you it wasn't going to happen and that I care for you and didn't want to not be with you... You just wouldn't let it go. And here's why Quistis... I don't love you. I don't love anyone, and I never will... I can't and you know that. But you are just to damn selfish to think about my feelings for once.

Quistis: (hurt and feeling guilty) Squall I...

Squall: (harsh) Don't I don't want to talk anymore and you know that... Think of me for once and just leave me the hell alone so I can finally for once just be by myself... Just the way I want it.

Quistis: Ok Squall... I'll go. Goodbye.

N/A: Squall just stood there ready for this soap opera to be over with... He felt bad for the way he spoke to her, but at the same time he felt free from her and all the expectations she had for him that he could never and never wanted to live up to.

Authors Notes: I know this one was a shot one but the rest will be longer I've just got to get sleep tonight so I can write lots this weekend school and works got me tired and busy but I have nothing to do on the weekends and have been working on this story for awhile and am ready to get it posted! So hope you enjoy what I do have until tomorrow!


	2. Chapter 2 Frustration

Authors Note: This isn't a very good chapter, but its leading to what I hope to be a good one... Like I said I've been working in this idea for awhile, but I'm finding once typed I need some to go and some to be added. Soooooo I guess really I don't have it as worked out as I thought. But hopefully you still like it! :)

N/A: It had been over a week since Squalls confrontation with Quistis, and with all the tension around pretty much everywhere he spent his time he was on the look out for a change... Some new places, and since Squall wasn't big on change he wasn't thrilled with Quistis for being so immature about their breakup. He wanted his old coffee shop and his old gym and his old bench at the park where he would go to clear his head... She had taken them all. He almost found it humorous that he broke up with her because he didn't want to marry her, but now he is still having all of his things taken away from him just like in a divorce... If he wanted to be overly dramatic like her he could just hire a lawyer and divide their time at their favorite spots... He laughed to himself at how childish he sounded. No he wouldn't do anything drastic that wasn't his style, he would just be the bigger person and not cause a scene... No reason for the both of them to not get to hang out at their old hang outs, and even though he would prefer it to be him it wasn't going to be because she had more friends and wasn't at all afraid to cause drama... So he left it at that. Squall decided to give it another try at finding a coffee shop he had been making his own for a week now so he was really in need of a decent cup... So he woke up earlier than usual that morning and decided not to return home until he found himself a new coffee place. He finished getting ready and opened the front door and found himself getting very frustrated at the sight of Zell standing there, he had a goal in mind and didn't want to waist time chatting it up about whatever hair brain thing Zell came over to discuss this time.

Zell: Hey Squall I haven't seen you around much lately.

Squall: Been busy.

Zell: (sarcastically) Yeah busy avoiding my sister.

Squall: No... Just busy.

Zell: Yeah sure, don't worry I avoid her all the time as well.

Squall: Whatever.

Zell: Your extra Squall like today.

Squall: Zell... What do you want?

Zell: Well Quistis wanted me to drop off your stuff that was over at her house and said that I was to come back by later today and get her things.

Squall: Fine... Come back at five.

Zell: I was kind of hoping you would get her things now so I wouldn't have to deal with her twice today she's not so pleasant here lately.

Squall: Can't. I'm on a mission.

Zell: What! I thought that you were on mandatory medical discharge until Balamb Army said you were able to come back.

Squall: (scoffed) Not that kind of mission idiot... But thanks for bringing that up.

Zell: (confused) Then what kind of mission?

Squall: (getting irritated) I haven't had a decent cup of coffee in a week.

Zell: (Haha!) So you are avoiding my sister.

Squall: Whatever Zell go away.

Zell: No no I'm sorry Squall. Listen I know of a good place it just opened up right across from the library are you willing to go all the way across town.

Squall: Thanks. Bye.

Zell: Hey I'm going to come with you.

Squall: No.

Zell: Come on man! I need to get away from my sister, because every day she wants me go over there and talk about yours and hers relationship I can't get away from her and its driving me crazy. I will just offer to take her books back to the library, she mentioned them being do tomorrow and how she wasn't going to have time to take them back because she was taking her class on an overnight field trip, and she hates to have overdue books.

Squall: (sigh) Fine.

N/A: Squall went into the house and quickly grabbed everything he could find that Quistis left of hers or bought him... He wasn't overly emotional about everything like she was but he did have to admit that it would be nice to get her belongings out of his loft. Zell and him walked to Quistis' house and Squall found himself getting nervous at the thought of her being there due to the fact that he did not want to bump into his ex outside of her apartment. He was relieved to she she wasn't there and impatiently waited for Zell as he ran her belongings up. He walked in to find his sister packing for her overnight field trip while sobbing... The sight made him feel guilty that he was annoyed with her feelings, but he really couldn't take hearing he talk about why Squall doesn't love while watching her stuff her face with sweets for one more minute.

Zell: Hey sis. Here's your stuff.

Quistis: Hey. Thanks little bro. Soooo what did he say?

Zell: Nothing.

Quistis: (irritated) Typical! He never has anything to say, you know I thought when we got together that maybe all it takes to get him to lighten up and open himself to me was for us to get to know each other on a more personal level... But noooo. Squall Leonhart doesn't have a more personal level.

Zell: Well Quis I'm sorry he's not being as caring as you want him to be.

Quistis: Yeah me too, but its to be expected... And I have no idea why I thought he would be any different. I guess I just thought he would feel something about our break up.

Zell: (sighing) Quistis it sucks but it will get better... Listen I've got to be across town like... Now. And since I will already be going that way I can take your books back to the library so you don't have to worry about it and just finish up packing for tomorrow.

Quistis: Thanks little bro... That's so sweet of you, that's a relief I have been so busy I haven't had the chance!

Zell: No problem.

Quistis: Hey I'm going to cook you dinner tonight for being so helpful here lately... Be here at seven.

Zell: Dinner, thanks... See you tonight!

Quistis: (giggling) Don't be late!

Zell: Its food of course I won't be.

N/A: Zell swiftly made his way his way back down to where Squall was waiting and getting very annoyed.

Zell: Hey man sorry it took so long... She's feeling very emotional as usual lately.

Squall: (scoff) Whatever man lets just go.


	3. Chapter 3 At first Sight

Authors Note: I know these pass two chapters are short, but I've got lots of homework. The thing is I would like to write something even if its short rather then writing nothing at all. Soooo hope you like! Thanxx! :)

N/A: Squall was more than relieved when he finally had coffee in his system... It was as if he didn't realize how much he truly depended on the warm black intoxicating liquid to function, and truth be told Zell wasn't so bad to be around when he wasn't around his sister... He had always thought that since they were kids, but there weren't many times that he hung out with him without his sister there and when she was Zell always seemed pathetic... It was as if he was a lost puppy. Squall had to admit that when he was around his older sister Ellone that he was a different person as well... Like if she would ask something of him he wouldn't think twice about doing whatever it was, but he sure as hell didn't sit around waiting for her to bark demands as Zell does with Quistis. They both sat there in silence sipping their brew, and that was when Squall heard a voice he thought he knew but couldn't quite place it.

Selphie: Hey grabby did you hear me?

Squall: (turning around to see the girl from the other day) Huh?

Selphie: (giggling) I said it looks like you finally found that coffee you were looking for.

Squall: Uh... Yeah.

Selphie: Well if you would have come just a little later you would have had the pleasure of drinking my coffee... And not to brag, but I make the best coffee in town.

Squall: ok.

Selphie: (laughing at Squall silence) You don't say much do you?

Zell: Who, Squall here? Uhh... That would be a big NO. He's definitely the strong silent type.

Selphie: (jokingly) Oh. I like a man who broods, but then again what girl doesn't. Tehe.

Squall: I'm leaving.

Selphie: Oh Squally I'm sorry... Hey I'll make the teasing up to you, how about tomrrow if you and your friend here come back you get free coffee.

Squall: (interested in free coffee) Sure. Thanks.

Zell: Its Zell by the way.

Selphie: Selphie Tilmett, Nice to meet you!

Zell: Well we are very much looking forward tomorrow Selphie.

(Ring! Ring! Ring!)

Selphie: (the bouncy brunette answered quickly when seeing the name on her phone) HEY SWEETY!... Really?... Tomorrow!... YAY! Ok love you too, bye!

Selphie: That was my boyfriend... He's been out of town and he says he's coming home early!

Zell: Oh... Boyfriend?

Selphie: Yep! We've been together for almost two years... I can't wait for tomorrow now!

Squall: That's great... I'm leaving.

Zell: Yeah I'm coming too Squall... It was nice to meet you Selphie.

Selphie: You too Zell, and I hope you guys will be stopping by for your free coffee tomorrow and to meet my boyfriend!

Zell: Yeah see ya tomorrow.

Squall: Yup.

N/A: Zell and Squall made their way over to the library, and for once Zell seemed to be the quiet mopy type... As much as Squall wanted to ask he decided not to due to him enjoying the quiet entirely way to much, but it wasn't any use the short blonde volunteered the source to his now quiet attitude.

Zell: (sighing) Too bad Selphie has a boyfriend huh... she was kinda cute wasn't she?

Squall: Didn't notice.

Zell: What! Well she was... Man that sucks she has a boyfriend.

Squall: Zell.

Zell: Yeah?

Squall: Get over it your starting to sound like your sister.

Zell: What? Really? No I'm not man!

Squall: Yeah... You are.

Zell: Man I spend too much time with her...

N/A: Zell returned his sisters books and then both him and Squall decided to stick around for awhile... Before Squall was always so busy and away so often that he hadn't been much places in town that he had been interested in visiting, but now he was thinking that maybe he should make a goal out of going that places he wanted to before in town and anywhere else her never had time for... anything to keep him busier than he has been in this pass month he has been temporarily released from the Balamb Army. Squall roamed around the library in search of books of the town of Balamb and travel books that would give him an idea of where he might want to go during his leave. He got lost in his own world for awhile lost in his own mind like he did very often... It wasn't until he heard a pile of books hit the floor filed by a soft sigh that he shook his head and came back to reality. He turned around to scowl at the pest that interrupted his peace and quiet, but in an instant his scowl was gone and replaced with a stunned look and a thud of the heart to follow... He was blown away. Her long raven hair swayed with ever move that she and only made to look darker by her soft pale skin the serious look in her chocolate eyes as she put the books back in alphabetical order and the soft smile on her full lips as she hummed a familiar tune. Squall couldn't move... He was frozen in place by the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life and for the first time in s month he was happy he was injured and made to go home and rest... Otherwise he would have never had the time to come here and see her... an angel. Squall was a little taken back by his own thoughts... It was strange to him that he could feel this way at all, but mostly someone he had just layed eyes on. It was them that she looked up and lock eyes with Squall and gave a polite smile... He was so shocked by this action that he gave a nod turned and walked away, and he knew right then that this would be the place that he would spend his time off.


End file.
